If there is anyone responsible for this Life,
I would like to thank this person (or whatever)
For making me feel terrible like this.
It’s just great! Bring it on!

I was told already:
“don’t try to understand me,
just love me.”
But i don’t understand the message…
Oh… I did it again right?

introspections within introspections

I have come to understand that my introspections have gone astray (in a certain way):
In stead of looking at what i really am now – or better: what there really is (for there should not be any assumption that this ‘me’ is entirely real without first observing – in stead of that, i have been trying to conform my self to an idea i had as to whom or what i should be.
This happened on the basis of prior experiences. But what are those experiences now? They are just ideas, memories, in which i drew the information for my introspections. Therefore these lost there quality of introspections for i was not analysing reality but rather imagination.
There is obviously a need to cast away all ideas (even though they are comform to what i once knew to be right) for there is this reality only, the one i should be dealing with.
Nevertheless, those imaginatory thoughts and memories are part of this reality i am wanting to know and the very ‘mistake’ mentioned here, is so but in appearance, for have i not then passed the test just now?