It's been quite a long time since i have been able to say that "i simply am" and in that time i have been looking at the past moments when i actually did have this ability as my goals.
Having now just read some old entries in my journal, i found out that the story related in these past entries where then present, while my seeking to re-establish a similar state is founded on passed-future ideas.
What about the present? What about what i really am?
Why seeking and -systematically- deny the present state?
Why not embrace fully what is? Why seeking salvation and reinforce a belief of incompletion or suffering?
How about this beautiful Life which i bypass each time i am seeking - even when thinking to seek this Life?
What i really am looking for is what is - and indeed what is, is not to be sought, but rather it is simply found, here and now, immediately.
Even if i know will is ultimately no self-will but the work of Life, i also know my vision is born of and limited by consciousness, and this self-will is true for what seems to be the self. So why not use it? Am i not -as limited consciousness- going to make use of this strength to rise and embrace the All?
Come on Benjamin, are you really about to throw your existence into a dream-life of seeking? Or are you going to plunge naked into Life?