I'm Brahman
I'm Brahman. In the house we have no maid.
At home I do the only thing I can:
I throw away my bath water and fill the jug;
I take no towel; and I always spill.
She tells me these are no a husband's chores.
I do feel helpless and reproach myself
When she is spoiling my impracticability
-- ingrained -- with the magic of her cookery.
And ever do I worship Him who manifests
himself as a magic show of cosmos, art and
science:
When she is handing me my plate of
porridge,
-- I notice how her fingertips are chapped --
I'm burning with a single adoration for
Sun, Bach, Kant; and those calloused hands
of hers.
Johan Andreas Der Mouw (1863-1919)
translated from Dutch by Victor van Bijlert
Which side to choose?
It seems that each time i seem to rediscover my nature as experiencing or consciousness, being, universe or whatever word you want to put on this, each time the personality strikes back.
My mind, my attention, my emotions solicit my attention in a way i find myself completely incarnated again into a finite self, in time, with goals and anxieties. I seem to have a fight, obstacles, friends and enemies.
Deep inside there is a battle. This battle is between the absolute self who is detached from the content of Life, the other is a freedom-fighter engaging with the content.
It don't know what that says. I don't know at this moment which side to choose.
Prime
How tempting is it to want to understand, to grasp, to comprehend and somehow control Life. With such knowledge, this Life, so volatile, would not be able to hurt me. Not only that, it would make me powerful, people would need my knowledge, people would love me. I would feel good, i would be this invincible person, i would not be afraid to die. How tempting is it to want this!
But this desire, latent, is the very cause of misery and inadequacy. It is the very obstacle which prevents me from appreciating what i (already) am.
For i am this, which is prior to this knowledge. I am that which is prior to the desire. I am that which is prime -- and prior to that even.
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